"Why are we signing ourselves up for so much sadness?"

Going will be difficult and coming back will be tough as well. I'm just hoping that somewhere in that mess is a once-in-a-lifetime experience. It has to be worth the homesickness, the being alone, the being away from my family + friends, the learning to be independent (mostly emotionally, but also in the taking care of myself way), the having to adjust to a new culture, the learning of a new city, the danger of losing long cherished friendships among many, many other things.

"It's like a Gaussian beam!"

It's not so much drifting away from people as it is a gradual but definite diversion. It's odd, you believe in some friendships so much you'd think they'll be there forever (or as long as forever can seem to a teenager), but you'd be surprised. One day you'll meet up and everything's somehow different. You don't care as much what someone has to say anymore (or you think they're just plain wrong), and their reactions + comments seem a little contrived (or perhaps your storytelling is getting worse). And somehow the other person doesn't seem to be on the same page as you anymore.

One day you'll meet up and you realise you're spending your time unconsciously comparing them with other people. And you think oh she wouldn't say this if she were here, or I miss having him around, or perhaps I wish I were telling this to him instead or she would know what to say to make me feel better.

And then you realise things have changed, perhaps even irrevocably.

(Or maybe it was just an off day.)

I think I should make it a point to stop over-thinking things. 

Oh, and start spelling with a 'z' instead of an 's'. 

And definitely stop being so over-dramatic.

I've just begun to appreciate the many different kinds of friendships there are. There's the friend you talk to and laugh with every day of the week; the friend whom you don't talk to for months on end but when you do talk everything's perfect and like it always was; the friend you make because you're in the same situation [and it's not like you don't appreciate them for just being there because, frankly, you need all the friends you can get and they're pretty awesome people in their own right, but when you're not in the same situation anymore you don't stay in contact, and that's perfectly fine as well, just because you've either grown up or moved on doesn't mean the friendship wasn't real while it lasted]; the friend you miss with an acute pang when they're not around; and the friendship that's like a Gaussian beam - you're just slowly outgrowing each other [the worst part's when it's not lengthy silences where no one knows when to speak up or what to say, it's not wanting to hear anymore what the other person has to say].

Just let go and move on.